Relationships can be complicated is pure understatement. And yet, rather than shy away from them, we continually seek new ones. They are the pivot point around which society, an organized pattern of relationships, is formed. An internet search brings up 255,000,000 entries for relationships! It has always been a hot topic and will remain so as long as there is more than one man on planet earth!
But for all this vast whole of material, do we easily know any more about building and maintaining fulfilling relationships than we ever have? We've easily studied the subject, but the same issues that divided hundreds of years ago continue to divide.
Relationships
A great deal of commonsense is important to birth and foster any healthy relationship. We often seek complicated answers to huge issues when true and continuing success is found in simplicity.
To begin, let's look at seven important components to any healthy caring relationship. perhaps you can assemble a more impressive, more complicated list, but these contain a core from which you can build, or begin rebuilding any relationship.
Self-Respect. To treat oneself as worthy of attention, esteem, regard, and observation is the first step. Just as charity begins at home, respect begins with oneself. You cannot give what you don't have and you cannot respect someone else man without a healthy dose of self-respect. Without it, relationships are hopelessly lopsided and you will soon effort to get from the connection what must come from within. From self-respect comes the capacity to respect someone else and connection is birthed.
Mutual Respect is the result. This important element must flow freely through the relationship, from within yourself to the other personel and back to you again. It must continue unabated, nourishing the connection in its life blood.
Mutual Affection. A degree of fondness is important in any connection that is going to undergo past necessity. Many relationships based on self-interest, without honest affection, can exist briefly but only for a definite purpose.
However, those that undergo beyond the infer for their beginnings will be those that construct a genuine and caring interaction, a fondness which grows from the other elements. The deeper the fondness, the more suited the relationship.
Self interest, not to be confused with self-knowledge, is the enemy of all true affection. Mutual affection assumes a genuine concern for the other, and never with an "agenda."
Intimacy. Some would place intimacy with or even before affection, but the true personal and secret familiarity that is intimacy grows from affection, and must be based on mutual respect. Today's society mistakenly puts intimacy first, and is surprised when mutual respect and affection do not construct as a result. But true and continuing intimacy, beyond the physical, can only grow as a supervene of the first three elements.
Cooperation. Operating in a base effort, in agreed unity of purpose, builds connection compel as easily as any muscle building activity builds corporeal strength. We hear it from the time we are old sufficient to learn from Grover and big Bird, but many of us cast it aside when we outgrow the playground.
Cooperation implies responsibility to something greater than the individuals, to the connection itself. Focusing on this perspective will keep pride from sabotaging this important element.
Mutual Trust will be the result. It is trust based on the truthfulness, character, integrity, and the proven potential of the other individual, as experienced over time. Trust is always earned experientially and there's no way around it. You cannot question it and you cannot finagle it. You must make deposits to the catalogue and only then can you withdraw the trust.
Commitment To The Relationship. Commitment is an agreement, a pledge, and it must be fully engaged to count. It's an all or nothing undertaking. It has been said that 100% commitment is easy. It's 99% commitment that is difficult.
Commitment is nothing more than a decision and, like most decisions, it's only difficult if it's avoided. Sitting on the fence has never been comfortable! Once the decision is made, the performance follows along easily.
Communication. Without this one, none of the rest is worth the ink. Bathe your relationships in potential communication.
* Listen deeply and easily hear what's being said. institution being truly and fully gift in a conversation, not merely waiting for the next occasion to interject your pithy comment. Drop your own schedule and listen from a place of selflessness.
* Make it your institution to speak from integrity, from a place of such soundness and wholeness that trust will always be the end result.
* Vow to use transportation to encourage, refresh and heal, never to impose pain.
* One of the quickest and surest ways to a breakdown in transportation is to make assumptions. The purpose of transportation is to change information. always ask, never assume.
* Make your questions open-ended. Questions requiring a yes or no acknowledge will seldom grow an exchange. Open questions leave plentifulness of room for an challenging give and take.
* When asking a question, be easily interested in gaining information. If you're not ready to be easily interested in the response, don't ask the question.
* For transportation to be truly valuable, healthy and nurturing to a relationship, it must occur in an climate of safety. What is said while a time of warmth and affection must never be used as a weapon while a duration of distress or conflict.
* thriving relationship-building transportation must be based soundly in honesty. This is not by any means a license to impose pain. It is instead a refusal to be deceptive, in word or action, toward someone else personel or toward oneself.
Examine these prominent elements of thriving relationships with an open mind and heart and be ready to easily assess your own relationships. If you see a pattern and any are faltering in these areas, take ownership of your role in the breakdown and begin the rebuilding process immediately.
Lopsidedness in any of these areas leads to dependency or co-dependency in relationships. Guard against always being on the giving or always on the receiving end in any of these areas. equilibrium is the key to each of these principles.
Start to build and rebuild your own relationships with these seven core elements and soon you'll be adding to them, consistency, courage, wisdom, humor, generosity, etc. The list can be truly endless and as unique as your many fulfilling relationships.
Copyright 2006 So-lu'shunz supervision Services
Fulfilling Relationships - 7 Commonsense Core Elements
